Wow. I used my brain a lot today.

It's 12:30 am. I can't sleep. I won't sleep. Today really hasn't been the most..eventful day, but it's certainly been filled with a whole lot of pondering. I've been thinking all about my past,present, and future. (Is this normal for some of you?..cause teh Hannah doesn't spend much time thinking about her REAL life, but more so her internet one. Does that make any sense? No? ...okay.)

So much of my childhood was obscured by my parents' divorce. It wasn't ruined but it's a whole lot different than it would've been if all of that chaos did not happen. But, it is safe to say, that because of all the emotional pain, difficulties, arguments, fighting for what I believe in, parent conflicts, etc, I am who I am. I'm strong. I know who I can and can't trust. I've learned how to stand up for myself, and how to deal with certain situations. I won't talk too much about what happened, but I can tell you that it was not good. Certain people turned out to be the opposite of who I thought they were. My life crumbled to pieces in a matter of days, hours, possibly minutes. I moved out of the house I was in, and into my grandparents' house (with my mother as well). I worked as hard as I could to feel loved, respected, and understood by my father. My mom fought for visitation, etc. Over all, it was the most difficult (probably 5 years) of my life. Like I said, it was for the best, and made me who I am. But I NEVER, ever want to go through something like that again. I cannot bear to fall apart like that twice. Watch the people I love change. I now know what kind of person I am, want to be, and will not choose to be for the future.

My future. Now that's something I need to think of. Yes, I'm most definitely going to finish high school(I've gotten a quarter of the way through it, anyways). And then go to college(Really? Really! This girl is actually going to UNIVERSITY. I'z vary smarrt.) Though I'm not positive what I want to do with my life... that's a biggie. What am I good at? What kind of jobs interest me? I love writing. I love science. I love observing things. I love talking to people. I love helping people. I love reading. I love editing things. There is so much more. but really, I can't figure out what I want to do in life. Perhaps I shall found out within the next few years? Let's hope so. I want to find a job that I absolutely adore doing. :) I also, would like to get married, and have a few kids. (Already got names picked out. :P ) Years later, I would eventually like to retire and enjoy life with my husband. Wewt. :D The future is something I am most definitely looking forward to. (and, being my lazy self, something that I kind of dread, because I am aware that it means actually working hard. pfft)


My present? (sorry for the out of order-ness, It bothers me. I have OCD, you probably don't. whatever.) uh.... for now, I'm basically enjoying life. I love the people I love. (hehe), I've met so many amazing people through the internet and will continue conversing with them and whatnot. I'm excited for my sophomore year of high school (well, kind of excited. How pleasantly excited can one get when she has that evil P.E. teacher yet again for Driver's Ed? mhm. Lovely.) Anywho, life is good. I'm working on being positive. 'Tis a toughy when you're surrounded by so many other angsty teenagers, and a few negative adults. Okay, a plethora of negative adults. But ALAS! I'z attempting it. :)

Wow. Long post. Yet again. If you read this, thank you for putting up with my rants. :)
I hug you now. *huggles*

SwankyStuffs- Rootbeer floats
Rumpus- conversations being cut short